A man called Kevin Dennett “faces jail” due to complaints about his doorbell. We still do not know why, but he replaced his doorbell with a [nonworking] replica of a claymore mine, complete with wires and a khaki-green faceplate reading “FRONT TOWARD ENEMY.” He bought it on eBay from a vendor who called it a “viral ring camera.”
Years ago, my parents on Long Island had unruly neighbors. The neighbors’ kids would use my parents’ property as a shortcut to their home in the next block, always destroying something and/or stealing something on each trip. They would also ring my folks’ front doorbell at all hours. My parents a) put up a fence and b) repositioned the bell so high up on the door that nobody ever rang it again (it could wake the dead). [Note: that neighbor eventually did prison time for storing $10,000 worth of illegal fireworks — including Grucci-style big ones — on his lot and another $15,000 in a storage unit in Oceanside.]
This prompts me to ask: were people ringing Kevin’s doorbell at all hours of the day and night? Had he registered any complaints with his homeowners’ association (these bodies are known to be hyperactive under ordinary conditions. Don’t paint your house plaid.)? Was Kevin simply a misanthropist? Inquiring minds wanna know.
Some homeowners’ associations will cite residents for planting the wrong shrubs, and even for planting the right shrubs in the wrong place.
Even though police immediately recognized the device as a fake (the wiring had come loose), they demanded entry into Kevin’s home, wrestled him to the floor, and applied handcuffs. He is now out on bail.
This leads me to ask, additionally, “Do the local police have any sense of humor?”
Finally, and this is the key question, did Mr. D’s homeowners’ association lack even the slightest sense of the absurd? [In his mugshot, Kevin wears a great big smile.]
Where can I buy my “FREE KEVIN DENNETT” tee shirt? Tort suit ahoy!—Kathryn Nocerino