It began when a friend gave him some to try. Soon after, his life spiraled into a decade-long dependency that nearly destroyed his health, family, and peace of mind.
John, a Suffolk businessman who asked that his real name not be used, said he first tried kratom in 2016. He didn’t like the taste but kept taking the green powder because it made him feel good.
“At first, it was manageable,” John said. “But after a while, I couldn’t go to work without taking it. I couldn’t come home without taking it. It became part of everything.”
Over time, he said, the drug wrapped itself around his life. He tried to quit before his 2019 wedding, but after a month of withdrawal, sleeplessness, and restless legs, he relapsed the day before the ceremony. He said he even used kratom throughout his wedding day and honeymoon just to feel normal.
Later, after briefly quitting and replacing kratom with heavy drinking, he returned to the drug in secret while his wife was pregnant. What followed, he said, was years of daily use, worsening stomach problems, vomiting, emergency room visits, and symptoms he believes may have been pancreatitis.
The addiction intensified last year when he began taking concentrated kratom pills sold at a local smoke shop. John said the pills cost as much as $250 to $300 for four and were far more powerful than the powder. He soon found himself spending hundreds of dollars a day and suffering even worse withdrawal when he tried to stop.
Now nearly six months off kratom, John said he is still battling the aftermath. He described chronic diarrhea, insomnia, depression, stomach pain, and months of emotional darkness.
“I wouldn’t wish it on anybody,” he said. “Every month I feel maybe four percent better, but I’m still not past it. It’s going to take a long time, and I don’t think it’s ever going to leave me. I feel like it rewired my body and my brain.”
John said his wife’s support has been critical as he struggles through recovery while raising two young children and running a business. His warning to others is blunt: don’t underestimate kratom.
“I feel bad for anybody on it right now,” he said. “Please do everything you can to stop.”