Sometimes I read history online. Since my maternal grandmother’s line originated in Norway, I have an interest in Norse history, such as it is. I got entangled in the story of Gunhild, “Mother of Kings.” Here is what I got out of it.
She was the beautiful daughter of Ozil Tote of Halogaland and lived with two shamans from whom she was learning magic. She later had them killed and married a nice guy called Eric Bloodaxe, with whom she ravaged Norway, etc., for many years. Nobody liked Harold, but they were much more frightened by his lovely wife, Gunhild.
All of this was chronicled in an illuminated manuscript called the Heimskringla. People kept getting killed, mostly with a sword to the head. It was exactly like Game of Thrones. Guys I never heard of kept getting gruesomely whacked. Finally, a rival called Edgil put a horse’s head on a stick (the Nithing Pole) as a “pagan” curse against the married couple. I thought only the Mafia did that. There was also lots of stuff involving blood. Did these people think they were Aztecs or what?
A child was born to an old king. The boy, Haakon, later called in Norway “Haakon the Good,” was raised by King Athelstan of England (not to be confused with the notorious English king Ethelred the Unready). For some reason, a bishop Christianized Eric and Gunhild, and the king at the time gave them Northumbria. Northumbria doesn’t exist anymore, although the land is still in place.
The story does not end there: the death of Eric, younger paramours, a move to Orkney, and many more battles. At last, in the year 977, King Harold Bluetooth of somewhere drowned Gunhild in a bog.
977 happened a long time ago. There was no indoor lighting, no public transportation, no cellphones, no after-hours clubs. Christopher Columbus didn’t “discover” America until 1492. Having to live entirely without consumer products, the ancient Norwegians were left to occupy themselves as best as possible.
Be nice; don’t get drowned in a bog.—Kathryn Nocerino