A member of the Algonquin Circle (NYC, 1919–1929, a floating dinner party at the Algonquin Hotel including, among others, Dorothy Parker, Harpo Marx, and Alexander Woollcott) called the martini “the breakfast of champions.”
The origin of this label is in dispute: someone cited a 2024 meal of prime ribs and scotch as the Las Vegas version. Kurt Vonnegut (whom I saw fall off a stage) wrote a novel he called Breakfast of Champions.
Recently, authorities in South Fulton, GA, noticed that an elementary school student had his lunchbox filled with a clearly labeled can of “Clearwater Lemon Drop Martini” (11% alcohol), a bag of Doritos, and something with a pickle. Did the parent(s) themselves fix this lunch? Did a nanny do it? The “responsible” party should face a neglect investigation.
This reminds me of a true story involving the classic American comic/actor W.C. Fields (famous for the saying, “Anybody who hates kids and dogs can’t be all bad!”). A child actor called “Baby Leroy” appeared in some of his films and reportedly stole the show. This made Fields jealous. One day he spiked Baby Leroy’s orange juice with vodka. After drinking it, Leroy went out cold. Fields reportedly said, “Kid’s no trooper!”
I am not a parent, but I think it’s kind of risky to pack booze in your toddler’s lunch. Said toddler may need to calm down, but this is definitely not the way. I’ve heard that some parents used to—and might still—give their infants a slug of alcohol to make them quieter during teething.
Please make sure loaded firearms and portable heat-seeking missile launchers are absent from the backpack. Even if you can’t stand your kid, watch out for the inevitable legal consequences. A word to the wise is sufficient.
As a child, I may well have appreciated finding a blackjack (“Take that, school bully!”) or Kickapoo Joy Juice in my supplies, but why cater to the demands of the “immature”? Folks: let this be a Learning Experience!—Kathryn Nocerino