Sometimes, an instance of online outrage deserves a closer look.
“Halloween Night was one of the worst examples of public behavior we have ever witnessed in downtown Patchogue Village,” read a post from The Cliffton Bar on November 1st.
The message, widely shared on Instagram, matched the tongue-in-cheek, dramatic-toned video content that accompanied similar posts from the bar in the recent past, wherein they would equally lambast their own patrons.
Could these latest videos have been scripted—or perhaps exaggerated for effect?
…yeah.
The original statement that sent various local internet-gazers into a tailspin continued: “We would like to thank the Cliffton customers for understanding that we had to change our door policy last minute to 30+ in order to protect ourselves and our customers from what we can only describe as a mob of some of the most disrespectful people on Long Island.”
It ended with: “Please be safe out there the remainer [sic] of the weekend, but always keep in mind that… This Is Patchogue.”
Many readers most definitely took this Halloweentime post seriously, in fact at ghostface value. And who could blame them?
It’s certainly believable; even if the degree of disappointment was as woven in as much troll-positive disingenuity as suspected, a “30 and over” decree post-midnight is sound enough to have truly been enforced [I’m 29, would have taken one glance at any long line and gone home before earning a chance to be declined—but I doubt and digress].
One commenter, @smugscythe, remarked, “speaking as a 23 year old in Patchogue: anyone who’s mad about this is most likely part of the problem,” earning 238 likes compared to the greater post’s 2,600-plus.
Other “fan submission” videos showing rowdy crowds were captioned with over-the-top warnings, such as: “SELL YOUR HOUSE… LEAVE PATCHOGUE B4 IT’S TOO LATE!!” and “COME ON… COME ON… COME ON… UR DEAD.”
This signifies a clear parody of local panic, especially when the phrase “heroin zombies” came into play to describe the perhaps too-unnatural-to-believe-in-earnest antics of the gotcha surveillance subjects.
When the bar’s condemnation inspired a Reddit thread, users on the forum site quickly pointed out that stirring the pot with deadpan fervor is exactly The Cliffton’s brand.
User mrs_petty_spaghetti called it “the edgelord bar of Patchogue,” explaining that the owner has “been saying sarcastic stuff like this for years.”
What some mistook as a justified blitz assault on bad behavior was, in fact, another entry in
The Cliffton’s ongoing satirical marketing—a mix of mock alarm and irony that often flies over the heads of doom-scrolling locals who adore provocateur-led small businesses enough to disregard their bluffs.
The bar that didn’t crumble within the past two years when it was protested for perpetuating transphobic rhetoric unsurprisingly maintains an allegiance with the old-school notion that any news is good news.
For an establishment that cries “sell your business,” it doesn’t appear they will fold their cards anytime soon—much to the chagrin of anyone left with a sour taste in their mouth post-debunking, and not the seasonally appropriate patched-kid kind.