Trump Skewers Plastic Straw Ban


Trump skewers plastic straw ban put in place by the Biden administration. | Grok

Heaving a harpoon into the flank of the environmental left, President Trump skewered the Biden administration’s ban on plastic straws. 

“We’re going back to plastic,” the President declared as he signed the order rejecting paper straws. “I’ve had them many times and on occasion they break; they explode if something is hot. They don’t last very long—like a matter of minutes, sometimes a matter of seconds—it’s a ridiculous situation. So, we’re going back to plastic straws.”

Lifting the ban was the number one trending issue on the Internet for three days as Trump was considering the action, he noted. 

The environmental impact of plastic straws vs. paper straws is entirely unclear, according to the White House. “This has cost both the government and private industry an absolute ton of money and left consumers all over the country wildly dissatisfied with their straws. It really is something that affects ordinary Americans in their everyday lives.” 

Pointing to an 83-page report outlining their plan, the Biden administration called for the federal government to phase out single-use plastics, including straws, cutlery, and packaging by 2027. The U.S. government is the world’s biggest buyer of consumer goods and its moves have a big impact on the market. 

Biden also pushed for stronger regulations on plastic manufacturing, citing environmental and health risks associated with the material. More than 90% of it is derived from fossil fuels, and its production and incineration put significant amounts of carbon dioxide into the air, a major contributor to climate change, proponents argue.

Straws, which are difficult to recycle because of their size and weight, are seen as a threat to marine life, an assertion bolstered by a viral video of a sea turtle with a plastic straw stuck in its nose.

“l don’t think plastic is going to affect a shark very much as they are munching their way through the ocean,” Trump concluded. 

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