In the Cameron Crowe classic “Vanilla Sky” a line stuck with me that sums up how much more we appreciate the sweet things in life because of the struggles we experienced.
“Just remember, the sweet is never as sweet without the sour, and I know the sour,” is a famous line from the 2001 movie starring Tom Cruise, Penelope Cruz, Kurt Russell, Cameron Diaz, and Jason Lee.
That mantra hit home for me, having known a whole lot of sour growing up in extreme poverty as the youngest of seven children, the son of a typewriter repairman and mother who held numerous blue collar jobs to make ends meet.
I remember “food stamps” when they were actually paper booklets of currency, not the modern day EBT/Debit cards distributed by New York State.
There was always the shame and embarrassment felt as a kid when folks in the store could spot them being used a mile away, almost similar to a Scarlet Letter that screamed “these folks are as broke as a joke and are on food stamps.”
This Thanksgiving season the staff of the South Shore Press, yours truly included, are putting pen to paper to share what we are thankful for this holiday season, which leads me to reflect on how much I appreciate the “sweet” blessings of my life because of some of the “sour” experienced as a kid.
No question I’m grateful and thankful for my late mother who did the best she could to provide our family with basic necessities.
Most Thanksgiving holidays we received our turkey and trimmings from the food pantry at Saints Rita and Patrick’s Catholic Church.
My favorite staple that my Mom made was a no bake Jello cheesecake. To me, it was a fine dining delicacy found in the most elegant of Michelin guide restaurants.
Every year at Thanksgiving I would “make” Mom’s favorite dessert for our family at Thanksgiving, until I decided one year to bake homemade cheesecake from scratch. It was incredible. Boy did I appreciate the sweet taste of my own “real” cheesecake compared to the “sour” of a no-bake cheesecake out of a box that took five minutes to prepare.
I’m forever grateful for the struggle of growing up poor, because as a married adult with incredible kids and an amazing family, I appreciate the blessings that much more because I never had them as a kid.
My brother Dan is a former firefighter who became an orthopedic surgeon, and every year after Election Day we take a “guys” trip to one of his homes at the Outer Banks. In my previous professional life before becoming News Director of the South Shore Press, I served as the Erie County Comptroller for nine years and was Vivek Ramaswamy’s Spokesman and Deputy Communications Director for his presidential campaign.
We still take the annual trek to Corolla, North Carolina, and this year I brought our sons Maksym Roman and Emeryk Francis. As I took our sons to the Currituck Lighthouse and the beaches of the Outer Banks to see wild horses, I reflected on how grateful, blessed, and thankful I was to be able to share these incredible experiences with our boys.
Thank God they will never know the “sour” struggle of extreme poverty the way I did. I’m thankful to have lived the arc of the American Dream to provide our children with a better life and future that I had as a kid. God Bless America.
I’m also grateful for an incredibly supportive and loving spouse in Ashley Mychajliw. I half-jokingly say she was forced to marry me because our great grandparents back in Ukraine traded goats and this was an arranged marriage.
One of our first dates was a Dave Matthews Band concert, and at least once a year we hit the road for a show. We went to two DMB concerts this year, one in Saratoga, the most recent one being the first Friday night show at Madison Square Garden.
Ashley and I (without kids) had a blast in the Big Apple, simply being tourists and hitting Rocco Steakhouse. Of course I ordered a cheesecake, and with all due respect to our fine friends at the Jello corporation, their dessert was much better than what my mom made at Thanksgiving.
Yes, for the most part there was nowhere to go but up based on the circumstances of our somewhat “sour” upbringing from a purely financial perspective. I’m grateful that our mother made us feel loved and valued despite what little we had. I’m grateful for an amazing wife and for the privilege of raising incredible children.
Pretty sweet if you ask me.